Category: Aries

How to make her want you…

wtfzodiacsigns:

Aries: to make an Aries goddess want you, you have to be patient. She wants you to break down her guard that’s higher than the Great Wall. She wants you to conquer her.

Taurus: Taurus wants you to fight for her. Seduce her, and stay no matter how aggressive she gets with you. She wants loyalty and shoes.

Gemini: Gemini likes the finer things. She likes to be wine and dined. Food is one way. Show her a good time, and a good laugh. She’s easier going than you think.

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I’m an Aries because I refuse to give up on the only person I truly want to spend the rest of my life with.

Aries – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope pl…

Aries – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology !

The Signs as Customers I’ve had at Work

Aries: The man who punched the self checkouts because they weren’t scanning fast enough

Taurus: The man who swore up one side of a barn and down the other that it was illegal to check ID before we would return his item

Gemini: The person who went to get their headlights changed in Auto Parts and forgot that his weed was stashed there

Cancer: The woman who paid for $40 in plants with nickles and dimes. At closing.

Leo: The woman whose cart I latched onto to prevent her from stealing a $600 vacuum and almost dragged me outside

Virgo: The person who returned a microwave with a roast chicken inside, that somehow ended up in the warehouse for months before anyone realized what the smell was (Okay I wasn’t really here for this but I heard the stories)

Libra: The person who walked into the store, took a tent from our sports section, then walked out the back receiving doors

Scorpio: The man who came into the store and cussed out the Sports manager because she wasn’t speaking French

Sagittarius: The man who managed to steal not one, but two chainsaws in the span of 2 months

Capricorn: The woman who threatened to have us all fired for asking her to leave her backpack at the front

Aquarius: The woman who tried to get me to let her children have the gum they’d taken off the shelf, opened, and eaten, for free because she didn’t have any change

Pisces: The old man who bought $60 in ant killer and spent the entire transaction muttering about how ‘they were all going to pay’

The Signs Sleep-Deprived

Aries: “I swear to God if one more person has the nerve to look at me one more time… ONE MORE TIME… shit is about to go DOWN!“

Taurus: "Ah yes, how I love to suffer.”

Gemini: Never sleeps anyways so what’s the point?

Cancer: "Today is a good day to eject myself into the sun!“

Leo: Hisses at people that make eye contact with them.

Virgo: Runs on 2.7382 hours of sleep a night anyways and has developed immunity to sleepiness.

Libra: Doesn’t care when it is, where they are, or who they’re with, they will pass out on the spot and not even the force of God could wake them up.

Scorpio: "Fuck you, fuck this, fuck that, fuck her, fuck him, fuck them, and fuck it! Fuck EVERYTHING!”

Sagittarius: Throws shit and pushes people that manage to get in their “way” and wreaks havoc upon those who cross them.

Capricorn: "I’ll pay you big money if you murder me here, right now. Immediately.“

Aquarius: Sleep is but a Concept™ for the Weak™.

Pisces: They’re really only ever half-awake anyways so what’s the point?

Source: meetthesigns

THINGS I WISH I COULD TELL THE SIGNS

Aries: I admire the way you always stand up for yourself and others, it’s amazing… Like your face and your personality, even though you can be a little bit of a jerk at times.

Taurus: I would bet all my money that you are going to be super successful one day because you always put 100% into everything you do.

Gemini: You’re legit incredible, even though you bother me from time to time, I couldn’t ask for a better friend.

Cancer: Our relationship isn’t the same as it used to be and it bothers me that I feel like I honestly don’t care about you anymore.

Leo: You crave attention and that’s great and all, but remember YOU AREN’T KANYE WEST, he’s a Gemini for pete’s sake.

Virgo: It may seem like I hate you, but in reality you’re one my favorite person in the world. Thank you always being there for me and not flipping out when I’m in a bad mood.

Libra: I hate you but I like you because you seem so nice and you’re almost perfection, but you’d probably kill me in my sleep.

Scorpio: Hang in there buddy, life gets tough, but remember you are tougher. You have people that care and are willing to help if you just let them.

Sagittarius: You’re the type of person that I think I could NEVER EVER hang out with, but after a few internal debates I decided you’re pretty cool so hopefully we can and will be friends for a long time.

Capricorn: I have a constant debate with myself over whether I hate you or not… Please help me make a decision, you’re good at those things.

Aquarius: You’ve done some things in your life that weren’t the greatest, but don’t worry you still have many years to make up for your past mistakes.

Pisces: Do you ever meet someone and you feel an instant connection with them? You’re that person for me, like a sister I never had or a drunk cousin I probably do have somewhere.

Source: cloudyastrology

the signs as things I associate with summer

Aries: huge beach balls, burning hot sand, loose tank tops

Taurus: seafood, bright sunny days, tiny sea shells, glass coca cola bottles

Gemini:  tye dye t-shirts you make at camp, tropical fruits, pictures that make the sun look just a little too bright

Cancer: late night bonfires with friends, firefly catching, really green leaves on trees

Leo: going to the mall, outdoor parties, tooth shark necklaces

Virgo: cute little flowers that you keep on a balcony, big messy t-shirts you use when you paint,  popsicles that keep dripping

Libra: feather earrings, gossip about someone’s new look, staring out the window

Scorpio: going to a nice cafe for breakfast, red clay, open toed shoes,

Sagittarius: pastel blue skies, white tennis skirts, bright green wet grass

Capricorn: that one friend you still have a grudge on, surf boards, whittling your initials into a tree

Aquarius: sea foam, humid nights, hearing the wind slam doors shut

Pisces: flower crowns, bright colored posters at the mall, crowded market stalls

The Signs When They’re Tired

Aries: Tells everyone to shut up so they can nap

Taurus: Falls asleep on the spot

Gemini: Stares blankly while you try to talk to them

Cancer: Does everything slowly and half-assed

Leo: Tries to stay awake and gets grumpy

Virgo: complains

Libra: Does something to stay awake

Scorpio: Falls asleep mid-sentence

Sagittarius: Whines and gives up

Capricorn: cranky

Aquarius: Confused about everything and droopy eyed

Pisces: Leaves and ignores everyone

The Horoscope App

The Horoscope App

Aries invent shit. They got that brilliance.

Aries – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope pl…

Aries – WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology !